


Dead Gorgeous

by ALPHAwolf



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Chubby Thor, Depression, Human AU, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Midgardian AU, Oneshot, Possible thor/bruce romance/bromance, Sugar Daddy AU, frostmaster, no heros AU, snapshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-12 14:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21477589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: A year passes, and Thor is still struggling to come to terms with Loki’s death.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, En Dwi Gast | Grandmaster/Loki, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Past Loki/Thanos
Comments: 4
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

Blue light poured from the large television screen, dark shadows casting random shapes across the pigsty of a room.

Thor sat in bed, the crumb covered sheets in a kind of nest around him, face haggard as he focused solely on his game. A bowl of Cheetos balanced haphazardly on his stomach, orange powder covered beard sitting inside the snacks.

His zombified state was hardly roused by the sound of his mobile buzzing beside him, his eyes briefly flickering over to see what it was.

A message from Bruce. He paused his game and took the time to pick it up and read it.

_Hey, wanna meet up for coffee?_

Thor had gotten a lot closer to his dual-personality-disordered friend within the last year, and they tended to catch up for coffee at least once a week. It was about the only time he got out of the apartment as of recent. Bruce seemed to be the only one willing to make the effort to reach out and actively support him since he’d become so... depressed. He hardly ever even saw the others unless the brunette dragged him along to some special event.

_Sure, wat time? any particular place u thinking?_

It only took the other a moment to reply.

_That Hollywood Starbucks? Half an hour?_

Thor had recently moved to Pasadena while Bruce lived in San Fernando, so they often met halfway. Plus, sometimes they’d get a little kick out of spotting some forgotten half-famous person.

_K_

Thor groaned as he made to move, considering taking a quick shower... it had been some time since he’d bathed, but he really couldn’t be bothered and Bruce didn’t care how he looked or smelt. This in mind he chucked on a hood from the floor and some sweats, sliding on a pair of flip flops and making his way out of the apartment and down to his parked car.

With all the traffic by the time he arrived Bruce was already waiting for him, sitting in their usual spot.

He noted the other walking in and sent him a warm smile, gently nursing his steaming cup, which appeared to be fogging up his glasses.

“I got you the usual. Long black, three sugars.” He greeted, nodding towards a waiting mug.

“Thanks.” Thor made a note to repay him later as he sat, perhaps by buying him some sort of desert.

“So... how you doing?” He could already see the concern in the other’s eyes, the gentleness in his behaviour. _He knew._

“Fine, fine.” Thor forced a tight smile and the other nodded.

“...Tony told me... today was the anniversary...” He trailed off, a lump forming in the blond’s throat.

_The anniversary of his brother’s suicide._

He coughed to force the tightness away, struggling to nod. He had been trying not to think about it, much like his parents who had gone away to occupy themselves with a cruise.

“Thor, I know... what it feels like to be low- “

“I know, and I’m fine, really, I just-” His throat tightened back up and he sighed, knowing there way no way of getting out of the conversation, “I just... wish I’d reached out to him, I mean- it got so bad for you that you tried ending things, but you survived, you learned to live with your problem... I just wish Loki could have too...” It was a shame the two had never had the chance to meet, Bruce might have been able to help him get out of his own head.

“I know.” The brunette offered quietly, sincerely brokenhearted to see his friend in such pain. He let the silence linger, leaving Thor time to start talking again. 

“I should have taken it more seriously.” He berated himself. “I shouldn’t have pushed him aside like I did, I should have seen the signs.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know... finding out he was adopted was what pushed him over the edge in the end.” He knew he shouldn’t blame his father either, but he just couldn’t help it. _Odin should have let his mother explain it, or he could have given him some support rather than shocking him the way he did before leaving to take a holiday! _“I just... I just close my eyes and see it all over again.” Even now all he had to do was lower his eyelids and he was back there on the Golden Gate bridge, running to try and grab the other in time before he threw himself off the side.

He had been too late, forced to watch as Loki crashed down into the water and never resurfaced, the whole scene tragiclly beautiful in the moonlight.

“I suppose I do blame myself a little... for not getting there in time.” He admitted quietly, knowing that he would never stop missing his brother’s smile, his pranks, and most of all his snarky remarks that always managed to make him laugh, despite their venom.

“You did everything you could.” Bruce assured with a whisper, reaching out to nurse his friend’s hand.

“Maybe... I just-”

Thor silenced, his gaze suddenly caught by a reflection of light off a limousine window, his brain briefly screaming that there was something... familiar about the glimpse of black hair and pale skin.

“What?” Bruce asked, turning to look in the direction he was.

“...Nothing.” He decided not to talk about it any further, closing his heart and sipping his black coffee.

<strike>s</strike>

“Am I going insane, Sif?”

Thor sat at the bar with his friend beside him, the woman having dragged him out for Fandral’s birthday celebration. By the look on her face she was regretting it.

He was dressed as usual in his ‘hobo getup’ as Tony called it, a stark difference to her beautiful cocktail dress.

“I see him everywhere! At the mall, in cars, and just yesterday I thought I saw him with this great big dog down at the park.” The blond sighed as she eyed him in a concerned manner. “It’s only ever for an instant and then it’s like he was never even there.”

“Sounds crazy to me.” She confirmed, taking a sip of her drink. It certainly hadn’t been the answer he was hoping for. “When’s the last time you got a good night’s sleep and ate something other than a pop tart?”

“I’m serious!”

“So am I.” She replied firmly, sending him a sharp look as he gazed sadly down at his beer like a kicked dog. “Listen, Loki is gone, I understand it’s hard to accept, but it will get easier. In the meantime, you need to start taking better care of yourself... it’s what he would have wanted.” He couldn’t tell if she was attempting to manipulate him out of his glum state or not, but either way he supposed she was right. For a split moment she reminded him of Loki, a small smile daring to cross his lips.

“I guess you’re right.”

<strike>s</strike>

Thor’s breathing was heavy and controlled- in through the nose, out through the mouth- as he speed walked down Beverly Hill’s Boulevard. He had taken up walking instead of gaming in the morning, attempting to get back into shape. Everyone was in full support of his efforts, some a little too supportive in his opinion, but it was what it was.

Personally, he didn’t mind being a little hefty. He was still strong as ever, he just wasn’t ripped, and people treated him differently for it, even if he himself didn’t see much of a difference either way. Still Sif’s words rang over in his head, ‘_it’s what Loki would have wanted’_, and he kept pushing.

There was a deep guttural bark, the sound cutting through his headphones, and he turned his head to see a rather large doberman down the path he was on, baring its teeth in his direction.

Thor froze as he caught sight of the person standing beside it.

Tall. Pale. Long black hair and large sunglasses. Tight black legging and a fur collar. Glittering gold jewellery covered in green stones. It all came together in an instant, a single word falling from the blonde’s lips in disbelief.

“_Loki_?”

The person ahead stopped flicking through their phone and looked towards him, their relaxed posture suddenly rigid.

Thor couldn’t believe it as he looked at the other’s face.

_It was him._ Even with the long hair and the stilettos he knew it was him, staring back with just as much shock as the blond. _He probably didn’t even recognise him, what with his hobo beard and chub._

The blond took a step closer hesitantly, the dog growling and flattening it’s ears. Loki hissed something in what sounded like German and it went silent, sitting to attention.

The noirette smiled and resumed his relaxed posture.

“Hello brother.” It was so casual. As if nothing had happened.

Thor stumbled forward and practically fell against him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

_He was real. He could feel him in his arms, smell his scent_. It may have been mixed with some kind of rich perfume but it was still distinctly _Loki_.

“I missed you so much.” He nearly sobbed, the noirette looking surprised. The dog growled and Loki hushed it with a hiss of ‘_Topaz’_, uncomfortably squeezed in the blonde’s tight embrace.

Finally, Thor let go and the other straightened himself out, the dog practically glaring at him

“You... got a dog.” He could have said something like ‘you’re alive’, or ‘you grew your hair’, but no, all he could manage was an obvious statement about _the dog_.

“It’s my partner’s.” Loki replied after a moment, the word _partner_ weighing heavily in the air.

“Oh.” _Oh_…

Silence followed, Thor still not quite sure it wasn’t all a dream.

“Maybe we should get lunch. I... appear to have some explaining to do.” Loki finally suggested, the blond breaking into a blinding grin.

“I’d like that.”

He walked on the opposite side of his brother to the dog as Loki lead him a few streets away in awkward silence, the two coming to a luxurious cafe. As soon as the servers noticed Loki they hurried to accomodate him, leading them to a table and fetching a bowl of water for the Doberman which was also apparently allowed inside.

“The usual, and a steak.” With Loki’s words they scattered away like mice, hurrying to their task.

Thor watched the exchange curiously, his attention diverted as Loki removed his sunnies, glittering gold adorning his eyelids. It made his green eyes sparkle in a way he had never noticed before. The only thing he could manage to think was how beautiful the other looked, a word he hadn’t before associated with his little brother.

It took him a moment to recover from the shock, his mind still reeling and desperate for answers.

“So?”

“I’m... not quite sure where to start.” The noirette admitted as a glass of wine was brought to him.

“How about the part where your alive and didn’t tell anyone?”

“Right...” He took a large gulp of his drink, the blond choosing not to question when he had taken up day drinking. “Well... after... jumping, I awoke in someone’s bed. They found my body and managed to resuscitate me. I had some... injuries at the time but nothing irreversible. Rather than taking me to a hospital they felt inclined to keep me, feeling I might be of future use.”

“Keep you?” Thor repeated, finding the choice of wording rather dodgy, especially when Loki was so careful with how he spoke.

“He took a fancy in my corpse.” Loki explained sardonically, seeming to find it humorous in a twisted way. “I had nowhere else to go so,” he shrugged, “and he didn’t seem so bad at first. Turned out to be some underworld fat cat, and eventually he just became too... dangerous for me to handle, so I managed to leave. I had considered returning home, but the very idea made me ill so instead I… took a job at a club.”

“Bartender?” Thor questioned.

“Dancer.”

“Oh. _Oh.” _There was an uncomfortable silence as Loki took another drink.

“I met Gast there, he offered to be my... source of funds and, yeah.” He shrugged again.

“Your... _source of funds?_ You mean you have a _sugar daddy_?” Loki chuckled at that.

“I suppose so.” Thor had to sit back and let that information process, a puff of air leaving his lungs. “I’d... ask that you don’t tell your parents.”

“My parents? _Our_ parents, Loki, they need to know you’re ok!”

“No Thor, _your_ parents.” The other insisted firmly. “I’m... still not ready to be alive in their eyes yet. When I am I’ll let you know, I promise.” He was lying. Thor could tell, and yet it didn’t seem to irk him like it used to. It only seemed to serve to remind him that this was his brother _alive_ and _in-front of him_.

“Honestly, I’m just so glad you’re alive... Alright, _but,” _He held up his finger, “In exchange for my silence you have to do something for me.” Loki appeared sceptical.

“What?”

“I want to meet this ‘_sugar daddy’_ of yours.” Loki’s face twisted up into confusion.

“What for?”

“He’s your partner.” The blond replied obviously, hiding his desire to size the man up, but the other simply waved him off.

“I’ll get a new one once I run his bank account dry.” He assured, the older unable to help letting out a laugh at the _audacity_ and _confidence_ of it.

“Well, don’t go near Tony then.”

“Who?”

“He’s a friend of mine, a millionaire.” The noirette let out a thoughtful hum.

“Well then, you may just have to introduce us.” Thor couldn’t help but chuckle again, in a state of disbelief at how much he’d missed that arrogant, mischievous smile.

The servers arrived with their meals- some tiny fancy fish delicacy placed before Loki while a steak hardly the size of his palm was placed in front of Thor, a strange salad and some red drizzle on top of it. He couldn’t care less, far from hungry with all the revelations that had just been thrown at him.

Still, one question weighed heavy on him mind.

“...Why did you do it?” Loki looked up at him from his food, busy chewing.

“Hm?”

“Jump...” He suddenly grew very tense, the air between them once again uncomfortable. He took a moment to swallow, not meeting the other’s eye.

“Perhaps we’d better not go into that.”

“Please,” Thor begged “it’s been sending me crazy for a year. I just want to understand.” He implored.

Loki looked at him from across the table with a hesitant expression, finally sighing and finishing his wine in a matter of seconds. He held up the glass and a waiter rushed to refill it.

“I... had come to realise that I was everything father- _Odin_,” he quickly corrected, “feared I would become.”

“How do you mean?” Loki scoffed, as if it were obvious.

“Not straight, non-gender conforming. Imperfect by his standards. He would never accept me.”

“You don’t know that.” Thor argued.

“Actually, I do. He told me.” There was a bitter resignation to the other’s voce, Thor’s heart aching at the knowledge. _He had never been told. _“When I found out I was adopted... suddenly my entire life felt like a lie, one big stage production. I just wanted out.” He explained quietly, avoiding the blonde’s heart-wrenching gaze.

“You could have come to me.” He scoffed again.

“You would have been just a close minded as him back then Thor.”

“I might have been confused,” he easily admitted, “but I would have been there for you, some of my best friends now are lesbians, it’s never bothered me.” Loki gave him a calculating look, as if gauging whether his words were true.

“Well, I certainly find that comforting.” He finally admitted, turning back to his meal.

Thor attempted to focus on his own food too, cutting it up and shoving a tiny portion in his mouth. It was good, but no where near worth as much as they were probably charging for it.

“So, this guy, he’s... older?” He asked as he finished the first section and cut another. Loki hesitated before giving a curt nod.

“Yes.”

“By how much?” He asked through a mouthful, attempting to appear casually interested.

“Enough.”

“Just give me a ballpark figure.” Ye offered.

“I’d rather not.”

“Is he older or younger than father?” The silence to follow was both unsettling and an answer in itself, made even more disturbing by the way Loki chugged the red from his glass. 

“He’s old enough to give Odin a heart attack, and that’s all I’m saying on the matter.” He admitted.

Thor just nodded, unable to actually find any reply. _Ew_ just didn’t seem appropriate.

“So, speed walking down Beverly Hills?” Loki questioned with a quirk in his brow, successfully diverting the conversation

“I live in Pasadena now,” He explained “decided to walk from there.” Loki’s other eyebrow inched upwards to meet the other. “I’m trying to get back into shape.”

“What for?” He seemed honestly confused, even as Thor gestured to himself. “I like you better this way.”

“What, unattractive?”

“On the contrary, you look... more approachable, almost... cuddly. Like a bear.” Thor straight up chocked on his mouthful as the other smirked, a soft breath of laughter slipping between his lips.

Thor managed to clear his throat and laughed with him, almost crying at the relief of having him back.

He’d missed that mirth so much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked! :)


End file.
